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Dr K K Aggarwal

Science behind regrets

By Dr K K Aggarwal
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In a US–based study, dying people were asked about their regrets, if any. The top five regrets were:

  1. I wish I had the courage to live a life I wanted to live and not what others expected me to live.
  2. I wish I had worked harder.
  3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish I had let myself to be happier.

Regrets are always based on suppression of emotions or non–fulfillment of desires and needs. These need-based desires can be at the level of physical body, mind, intellect, ego or the soul. Therefore, regrets can be at any of these levels.I did a survey of 15 of my patients and asked them a simple question that if they come to know that they are going to die in next 24 hours, what would be their biggest regret.Only one of them, a doctor said that she would have no regrets.Only one person expressed a physical regret and that was from a Yoga expert who said that her regret was not getting married till that day.Mental regrets were two.

  1. A state trading businessman said, “I wish I could have taken care of my parents.”
  2. A homeopathic doctor said, “I wish I could have given more time to my family.”

Intellectual regrets were three.

  1. A lawyer said, “I wish I could have become something in life.”
  2. A businessman said, “I wish I could have helped more people.”
  3. A retired revenue inspector said, “I wish I had married off my younger child.”

Egoistic regrets were two.

  1. One fashion designer said, “I wish I could have become a singer.”
  2. A housewife said, “I wish I could have become a dietician.”

Spiritual regrets were six.

  1. A Consultant Government Liaison officer said, “I wish I could have made my family members happy.”
  2. A businessman said, “I wish I could have meditated more.”
  3. A Homeopathic doctor said, “I wish I could have spent more time with my family.”
  4. A reception executive said, “I wish I could have spent more time with my parents.”
  5. An entertainment CEO said, “I wish I could have taken my parents for a pilgrimage.”
  6. A fashion designer said, “I wish I could have worked more for the animals.”

In a very popular and successful movie, Kal Ho Na Ho, the hero was to die in the next 40 days. When asked to remember the days of his life, he could not remember 20 ecstatic instances in life.This is what happens with each one of us where we waste all our days and cannot remember more than 50 or even 20 of such instances. If we are given 40 days to live and if we live every day ecstatically, we can get inner happiness. Therefore, we should learn to live in the present instead of having a habit of postponing everything we do.We should learn to prioritize our work and do difficult work first or else we would be in a state of constant worry till that work is over.I teach my patients that they should practice confession exercise and one confession is to talk about your regrets and take them as challenge and finish before the next Tuesday. When working, there are three things which are to be remembered – passion, profession and fashion. Profession is at the level of mind, ego and spirit.We should convert our profession in such a manner that it is fashionable and passionate. Passion means working from the heart and profession means working from mind and intellect and fashion means working the same at the level of ego which is based on show–off.

I want to live after my death

By Dr K K Aggarwal
Filed Under Spirituality - Science Behind Rituals | Tagged With: , , , , , | | Comments Off on I want to live after my death

In my workshops, whenever I ask delegates as to how long they want to live, the answer I get from most of them is 60, 70 or 80 years. While answering they forget that they are only talking about the death of the physical body but what about the mental, social, intellectual and spiritual bodies.

It is well known that the soul never dies and so do your Sanskars and good work done. The aim of life should be that one should live even after the death of his or her physical body. It is your good Karmas, which keep your memories alive even after your physical death.

It is equally true that your bad Karmas too can make people remember you after death but that is not the purpose of life. We would like to be remembered as Rama and not like Ravana after death.

In Vedic language your present is decided by your past and your future is decided by your present. To improve your future you need to work positively in your present.

When you start working positively in your present moment, you will start neutralizing your bad karmas. It is like washing a dirty shirt, which will not become stain free in one washing. Only with repeated washings can it become stain free. Similarly washing away your bad karmas with good karmas will take time.

It is possible that even when one starts doing good Karmas, one may still suffer as the sum total of past karmas may not have been neutralized by that time.

For example, if a dacoit surrenders and wants to live a civilian life he may be pardoned to some extent but may still be jailed for some duration of time. In other word he may be pardoned from death sentence and given life sentence.

As per Bhagavad Gita, whatever your thoughts are at the time of death will decide the atmosphere you will get in your rebirth.

It also says that whatever will be your thoughts throughout your life will be your thoughts at the time of your death.

So do not expect that you can acquire positive thoughts at the time of death if you have been thinking negative throughout your life… The gist is to start doing good actions in the present.

(Disclaimer: The views expressed in this write up are my own).

In one of the US based study, dying people were asked about their regrets, if any. The top five regrets were:

1.I wish I had the courage to live a life I wanted to live and not others expected me to live.

2.I wish I had worked harder

3.I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.

4.I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5.I wish I had let myself to be happier.

Regrets are always based on suppression of emotions or non-fulfillment of desires and needs. These need based desires can be at the level of physical body, mind, intellect, ego or the soul. Therefore, regrets can be at any of these levels.

I did a survey of 15 of my patients and asked them a simple question that if they come to know that they are going to die in next 24 hours, what will be their biggest regret.

Only one of them who was a doctor said that she will have no regrets.

The physical regret was only one and that was from a Yoga expert who said that her regret was not getting married till that day.

Mental regrets were two.

1.A state trading businessman said, “I wish I could have taken care of my parents.”

2.A homeopathic doctor said, “I wish I could have given more time to my family.”

Intellectual Regrets were three.

1.A lawyer said, “I wish I could have become something in life.”

2.A businessman said, “I wish I could have helped more people.”

3.A retired revenue inspector said, “I wish had married my younger child.”

Egoistic regrets were two.

1.One fashion designer said, “I wish I could have become a singer.”

2.A housewife said, “I wish I could have become a dietician.”

Spiritual regrets were six.

1.A Consultant Government Liaison officer said, “ I wish I could have made my family members happy.”

2.A businessman said, “I wish I could have meditated more.”

3.A Homeopathic doctor said, “I wish I could have spent more time with my family.”

4. A reception executive said, “I wish I could have spent more time with my parents.”

5.An entertainment CEO said, “I wish I could have taken my parents for a pilgrimage.”

6.A fashion designer said, “I wish I could have worked more for the animals.”

In a very popular and successful movies, Kal Ho Na Ho where it was shown that the hero  is going to die in the next 40 days.

When asked to remember the days of his life he could not remember 20 ecstatic instances in life. This is what happens in life of each one of us where we waste all our days and can not remember more than 50 or 20 of such instances. If we are given 40 days to live and if we live every day ecstatically, we can get inner happiness. Therefore, we should learn to live in the present instead of having an habit of postponing everything we do.

We should learn to prioritize the work and do difficult work first otherwise we will be worrying all the time till that work is over.

I teach my patients that they should practice confession exercise and one of the confession is to talk about your regrets and take them as challenge and finish before the next Tuesday.

When working, there are three things which are to be remembered – passion, profession and fashion. Profession is at the level of mind, ego and spirit.

We should convert our profession in such a manner that it is fashionable and passionate. Passion  means working from the heart and profession means working from mind and intellect and fashion means working the same at the level of ego which is based on show offs.